Four Part Mind

On Stagnancy...

2009-10-21T21:04:39Z

So I've been in school for six weeks, now. I've just about completed the Core program. I made Dean's List this month. I got a 95 on the Core final. I sold product Monday, and made a couple tips. For all intents and purposes school is going well.

Or so it seems.

This is becoming rote. It's all the same. Alarm goes off at 7. Snooze until 7:30. Relieve myself, get dressed, put my lens in, do my hair. Come downstairs. Eat something while doing some minor internet browsing. Get in my (or Michael's) car and drive to school. I am surrounded by girls I would have avoided at all costs in high school. Their awful banter, filled with repulsive slang, invades my senses. Their whine grates at my nerves. The constant, repetitive music wears away at my soul. And beyond that, it's all the same things over and over. Shampoo. Blow dry. Style. Mix it up; shampoo, roller set, dry, style. Perm wrapping. Hair cutting. It's all the same things over and over. I eat lunch, and wonder whether or not I should go home. Once I get back to class-if it can be called that-I watch my, er, watch for two hours. I go on my last break, and resist the urge to clock out early. I continue to watch the slow spin of the clock hands, wishing I could leave. At four, I trudge through the line of people all wanting to clock out. And then I drive home. I live online, barely looking up. I eat dinner, then go to bed early, so I can be sure to wake up bright and early to do it all again. And again. And again.

I have taken to wondering how I will possibly make it in any stable work position. I can not have the same thing all the time. I need variety. And a stable work environment will not give me that. Session artists don't make a stable income. So what should I do? I can't have my iPod on during services, for fear of offending the guests. Offend the guests, and they won't buy product, they won't tip, and they won't come back. Worse still, they'll tell their friends I offended them. -sigh- I'm stuck. What to do.

OUT
Randi

-sigh-

2009-08-23T00:26:26Z

I think I'm going to wallow in despair for a while. Damn Walmart. Damn this economy. Damn my trackpad. And damn me, too.

Phone entry!

2009-07-30T02:20:42Z

New ear chain n.n

Writer's Block: Family Heirlooms

2009-07-19T20:47:58Z

Is there anything in your family that has been passed down from generation to generation, or from family member to family member? What is it? And who do you plan to pass it on to?

Submitted By licktheknife

View 502 Answers

My family has long had spiritual talent. I know my maternal great grandmother had the gift, as well as my mother. I'm not sure about my grandmother. But I have spiritual talent dating back to the Native Americans. I hope to pass this talent on to all of my children, even if they don't plan to use it. This way, it can continue to pass on through them, unending.

Phone entry!

2009-07-16T23:17:01Z

ROGER'S GUITAR!!!!!!!!!!

Phone entry!

2009-07-16T14:41:00Z

Decked out in NJD and goin' to Boston to see RENT!!

...

2009-07-09T19:04:39Z

Chloe doesn't want me to draw....

Phone entry!

2009-06-30T19:35:15Z

Look who just flew in! On the right be Jaryn, and the lovely lass on the left hasn't told me her name yet.

-sigh-

2009-06-30T19:05:27Z

So, Randi is attempting to not have a nervous breakdown. I am attempting to not let Beast get out. People will hurt if Beast gets out.

Cabin fever is a bitch. She wants desperately to get out of the house, but has no opportunity, or money. Here's hoping that email from that company emails. She needs a job.

She is having difficulty controlling herself. She keeps feeling twitches, and a strong desire to lash out, hurt people. This is getting ridiculous. I can't keep Beast back by myself. It hasn't been this bad in a while. So, here's to another nervous breakdown. This poor girl has had more of those than the average middle-aged adult. She's twenty one. -sigh- I don't know how to help. I don't know that it will make a difference. Here's to trying.

Jeremy

-sigh-

2009-06-29T23:23:26Z

Why doesn't he notice me? Why can't he pry his eyes away from his game for half a second to see that I'm depressed, stressed, overwhelmed... I don't know what we're going to do. Bills... too many bills. I am so lost right now. I'm trying to find a job, have been, but nothing's coming up. Still waiting on an email from someone about something, but that hasn't come in yet. Speaking of, neither has my package. I rather want that package. I'm not having a good day. At all. -cry- And he doesn't notice. Is it that he doesn't notice, or that he doesn't care? -sigh- I'm in my emotionally dead stage right now. So no tears right now, though I feel them pressing on me. I feel the anger, on the edge. Distant, but there. I want to be creative, but I have too much—and yet, not enough—going on in my head. Of course, he doesn't have a working computer, so he will likely never read this. I just wish he wouldn't always ignore me when I'm upset or depressed. -sigh- I don't know what else to say.
OUT
Randi

I think we may...

2009-06-24T01:51:26Z

Have a Mountain Dew problem... >.>

Testing the photo feature

2009-06-18T18:35:24Z

Just testing the whole photo thingamawhosit. n.n
OUT
Randi

Posting from my phone!

2009-06-18T18:21:11Z

Just a quick post to my phone, testing it out. n.n

BABIES!!!

2009-02-15T07:57:39Z

Aurora Borealis (my rat) is in labor! -huggles Aurora- Pop 'em on out, honey!

UGH

2008-08-30T02:33:01Z

I hate my mother. And my father. Because of them, I can't go to school until after I'm married. Or I turn 24. But I'm getting married first. But they BOTH refuse to sign the FAFSA. Which means I can't go to school. My mother 'cause she doesn't want to give the government information that the government ALREADY EFFING HAS. And my father because he is of the belief that if he signs it, he will be financially responsible for me (which is not true). What a switch THAT would be, eh? (O.O) I mean, WOW, my FATHER paying for something for ME?! Who'd a thunk?! But anyways, I hate them both. And I can somehow see them arguing at my wedding. If they do, I'm kicking them both out. If they make me feel badly in ANY WAY, I'm KICKING THEM BOTH OUT. Mass punishment. If my mother does something, I'm kicking them BOTH out. If my FATHER does something, I'm KICKING THEM BOTH OUT. I am sick of their SHIT. I am sick of them RUINING my LIFE. It's MY life, NOT THEIRS. They wanna ruin their own lives, BE MY EFFING GUEST, but I will NOT take ANY MORE harassment from EITHER of them. I am standing up for myself. If I call my mother, and she starts yelling at me, I'll hang up. I don't give a damn. I want my childhood back! I want my self esteem, my self confidence back! I want my eighteen years of happiness that they TOOK FROM ME BACK! AUGH! Okay, I'm going to go do something else, now.
OUT
Randi

Writer's Block: What You'd Accomplish if Success Was Guaranteed

2008-08-29T18:16:54Z

Knowing beforehand that you wouldn't fail, what would you attempt to do?

Submitted By tightjeanzz

View 500 Answers

First off, buy a lottery ticket. One of the high jackpot ones, like, 200000000 or so. Second, design and build a beautiful house for my family and closest friends. Third, apply for a job doing what I want to do. Fourth, I would plan the most spectacular wedding for Michael and me. Fifth, build a machine that would turn me into a real, live kitsune. And Michael, too. Sixth, I would make my business big. Seventh, I would tell my mother how I really feel about her, and she WOULDN'T kill me. I would get my sisters good jobs that they can make a living at and enjoy for the rest of their lives. I would keep them safe. And my children. Safe. I would make this world better. Like Kira's vision, only better, 'cause there would have to be no killing to get there. I would convince people peacefully that war is folly. I would find someone peaceful to rule this world, with me as his or her advisor. This world would be peaceful, successful. And there would be a cure for bipolar. And ADHD.
OUT
Randi

GASPAROOO

2008-08-27T22:18:54Z

A POST! Holy freaking crap! Well, VirtualPlay started updating again, so I figured I ought to. But I will still use my website as a blog. -nod- So I'm engaged. To VirtualPlay. I LURVES him! He is mah hero! Um...corny much? Wow. So I am DM of my very own D&D campaign. Woooooooooooot. I also play an Elf Druid named Titania. After the character in the second Dead Alewives skit in the Dungeons and Dragons series. "Fine. She can play. Anyone can play. We're a Brown Deer High School endorsed activity, with membership open to the student body, I don't care if, if Greg Ertshman wants to play, if he brings his own dice. If Sarah Doheeny wants to play Advanced Dungeons and Dragons with us, she can play Titania." "Oooooooh!" "But isn't that your character?" "She's not my character, I'm the DM. Sometimes I have to send non-player-characters along with you to provide vital information." "Well mostly it just seems like you talk through Titania!" "Well, whatever. Now we have a girl to play Titania." Anyways!

And now Virtual is saying we can go out, sooooooo, out I go! Baibai!
OUT
Randi

kitbedosan @ 2007-08-31T18:56:00

2007-08-31T22:57:00Z

Artemis is gone. I feel so lost.

n.n

2007-06-02T16:50:45Z

I have a domain name! And a new blog! I won't be abandoning LJ, just...not posting in it as much. So do check it out! The site is http://www.xkytsunex.net, and the blog is http://blog.xkytsunex.net. Well, not much to say here. I'll post an update on my blog. Do check it out! n.n
OUT
Randi

Eep

2007-05-24T15:13:08Z

Interview today...so nervous...wish me luck...I NEED A JOB!!! >.> u.u I really hope I get this! Canobie or not!
OUT
Randi

EEEEEE!!!

2007-05-16T02:49:29Z

I now have a Mac!! Her name is Xenosaga, and she is beautiful. Der wille der macht! >.> Yeah. Anyway. Things have gotten much easier since I got her, and I am hapy.
OUT
Randi

Le sigh

2007-04-30T03:09:05Z

Well, Alvirne is still stupid. After reading Myspace forums, I have come to the conclusion that the people on those forums rarely have IQs making it into double digits. With the way humans are going, I'm not surprised someone like Dubya is in office. -sigh- I fear for my sisters. Not my brother, though, he can take care of himself.
Jeremy: Thanks. I feel cared for.
Shuddup. You know you're awesome.
Jeremy: Well, I wasn't gonna say anything...
Yeah, yeah. Hush. My entry. Get your own. >.< Well, that's about it. Sleepytime and mah medifications for meh. Ja~!
OUT
Randi
(and Jeremy)

J0.

2007-04-28T14:02:54Z

I get to take Kat out, finally. We're going to Canobie today. Woo hoo. When will Randi realize that I like going out just as much as she does? Meh. Gotta go make sure Kat's ready to go. Later!
Jeremy

Ugh

2007-04-23T03:51:51Z

Well, I can't sleep. But I do know one thing. I'm happy. Mike's home! And he loves me. And I love him. And I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I love him! -hugs Mike- n.n

My eyes...

2007-04-05T23:36:35Z

They hurt...my curiosity has finally gotten the better of me. Against all of Mike's warnings, I have looked up ManFaye...ow...I NEED BRAIN SOAP!!! Why would anyone want to do that? Ugh! Nothing else to say.
OUT
Randi